San Bernadino, California 3:00 pm Temperature is a warm 72 degrees the sun is shinning, the sky is a clear blue. A young couple walks out of a church in the warm sunshine to see school getting out across the street. All the young students are glad to be out of school and are runing in every direction. Tena and Bill were just married in the Baptist Church. Not a lot of people were in attendance, just the brides parents and the groom's mother. Tena and Bill would begin there married life in the Mojave desert. There first love nest would be a 18 foot trailer. Tena immediately tried to burn it down by putting a cake in the oven and taking off to the base to pick up Bill a 20 mile round trip. Neighbors in the trailer park jimmed the door open and saved the day by turning off the oven. The cake was a crispy critter. Our biggest wedding gift was old coupe car. This really saved us we were living 10 miles from the base an really needed transportation. The groom had just signed up for additional six years of the Marine Corp.
This was the last half of the 20th century, the beginning of the Korean War. The founding of a dynasty. Four children, 3 living, 6 grandchildren, 1 great grandson. Three sons, first son with a doctorate, second son with a masters, third son died at birth. Only daughter's passion is working with newborns in intensive care. Three granddaughters oldest married, middle is making a career of taking care of grandma, the youngest busy being a second grader. Three grandsons oldest making a name for himself in media and news, middle is trying his luck with Walmart, the youngest is in construction. Great grandson living with his Mom in Arizona we don't see nearly enough of him.
We almost made 57 years and people said it wouldn't last.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
Good News
I went to take granddaughter to her mom after school today. Mom was very tired it had been a long week of chemo and radition. While I was there she got a phone call from her doc's office. Her blood markers for cancer that had been over 600 were down to about 287. We don't know what is working, chemo, radition, prayer or every thing but it is very good news.
I had one of my newest friends offer to drive daughter today. This left Melissa and I free to go to pumpkin patch with Michelle. It takes so little to make her happy we have to keep up with her. We have been so worried about P that we tend to forget how much the little one needs.
P has a list of things that needs to be done. Melissa and I are going to have to start going over on the week ends and tackeling that list. P treatments take all of her energy. The thing that we can't do is paint her hallway we have to find someone to do that. I just had an idea who could do that. Next time I get a massage I will have to check that out.
I had one of my newest friends offer to drive daughter today. This left Melissa and I free to go to pumpkin patch with Michelle. It takes so little to make her happy we have to keep up with her. We have been so worried about P that we tend to forget how much the little one needs.
P has a list of things that needs to be done. Melissa and I are going to have to start going over on the week ends and tackeling that list. P treatments take all of her energy. The thing that we can't do is paint her hallway we have to find someone to do that. I just had an idea who could do that. Next time I get a massage I will have to check that out.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
After 10 days
Daughter is home after 10 days of being in the hospital. She has to go back Monday through Friday for radition. We set down and wrote down a schedule for the next 5 weeks. That means two to three trips a times for the next 5 weeks. Melissa has had to grow up a lot this last week. She had to give up two special things at Church one Saturday afternoon and the goodbye meeting for the youth director. I gave Melissa a treat today she had her first massage. I am trying very hard to see that she has some time away from old granny.
Daughter seems to be doing some better, she is able to eat a little and is having some small BM's. These things are what all the chemo and radition is for, if we can just get her blood marker's down. She has chemo every Monday the same day she has radition. Her nausea is over whelming I just hope we can keep it under control. I am so glad that Melissa is here to help with the driving. I drove all the way to Dallas on Sunday and I drove most of the way home on Monday.
We had our own taste tests today. Michelle, Melissa and I we tried 3 different energy bars. We have decided on one to put in our cooler pack that we carry in the car. Thank heavens it was the cheaper one. Melissa had a blood sugar crash on Monday. She had disliked her sandwich Monday and the package of chips didn't take her through the rest of the day. I have boiled some eggs and she is eating them for breakfast that will cover her protein in the morning. Now maybe the energy bars can pick up for anyother emergency.
I certainly hope Michelle will be better with mommy home. She just doesn't need to give her Mom the attitude she has given her grandma's the last 10 days.
I called Jenny yesterday I got a 20 minute spell and then came the clicher the enrollment fee if $500.00 per year.
Keep praying for all of us we are just doing what has to be done every day.
Daughter seems to be doing some better, she is able to eat a little and is having some small BM's. These things are what all the chemo and radition is for, if we can just get her blood marker's down. She has chemo every Monday the same day she has radition. Her nausea is over whelming I just hope we can keep it under control. I am so glad that Melissa is here to help with the driving. I drove all the way to Dallas on Sunday and I drove most of the way home on Monday.
We had our own taste tests today. Michelle, Melissa and I we tried 3 different energy bars. We have decided on one to put in our cooler pack that we carry in the car. Thank heavens it was the cheaper one. Melissa had a blood sugar crash on Monday. She had disliked her sandwich Monday and the package of chips didn't take her through the rest of the day. I have boiled some eggs and she is eating them for breakfast that will cover her protein in the morning. Now maybe the energy bars can pick up for anyother emergency.
I certainly hope Michelle will be better with mommy home. She just doesn't need to give her Mom the attitude she has given her grandma's the last 10 days.
I called Jenny yesterday I got a 20 minute spell and then came the clicher the enrollment fee if $500.00 per year.
Keep praying for all of us we are just doing what has to be done every day.
Friday, October 05, 2007
Columbus Day
I can't turn on the TV without someone trying to sell me something because it is Columbus Day. I didn't know that East Texas has a heavy Italian population? I know it is just another excuse to sell, sell, sell cars, mattress's and etc.
Forty four years ago I was very pregnant and living in Pueblo, Colorado which did have a large Italian population. Hubby was working for IBM and was a very big presence in the young up and coming young JC's. We had two lively little boys that I had trouble keeping up with. The wives of the young JC's had a maternity closet of clothes that was circulated among those that needed them. I was lucky to have the use of the black printed corduroy. The corduroy had litle pink roses on it. I thought I really looked good with a black sweater under the smock top and a corduroy skirt that matched the smock top. We were invited to a Columbus Day dinner. The dinner was held in the Italian part of town. The lodge hall was upstairs over the commercial stores down stairs. The room was full of long tables pushed together all the length of the room and as many rows of tables as they could get into the room. The chairs were back to back and very difficult to get up or down and neogotiate getting down the row of tables. When you are prenant you have to make a lot of trips to the little girls room. The speeches went on forever and the temperature in the room kept rising. The spaghetti was very, very good and everything that went with it.
These are my thoughts as we are approaching Columbus Day.
Forty four years ago I was very pregnant and living in Pueblo, Colorado which did have a large Italian population. Hubby was working for IBM and was a very big presence in the young up and coming young JC's. We had two lively little boys that I had trouble keeping up with. The wives of the young JC's had a maternity closet of clothes that was circulated among those that needed them. I was lucky to have the use of the black printed corduroy. The corduroy had litle pink roses on it. I thought I really looked good with a black sweater under the smock top and a corduroy skirt that matched the smock top. We were invited to a Columbus Day dinner. The dinner was held in the Italian part of town. The lodge hall was upstairs over the commercial stores down stairs. The room was full of long tables pushed together all the length of the room and as many rows of tables as they could get into the room. The chairs were back to back and very difficult to get up or down and neogotiate getting down the row of tables. When you are prenant you have to make a lot of trips to the little girls room. The speeches went on forever and the temperature in the room kept rising. The spaghetti was very, very good and everything that went with it.
These are my thoughts as we are approaching Columbus Day.
Monday, September 24, 2007
National Cementary
Maybe 20 years ago, Billie and I were attending one of our many Union Conventions. We were having breakfast in a lovely dinning room filled with windows. We could look across a busy highway and see the mist drifting over the tomb stones of the Santa Fe National Cementary. The peace that I felt in my heart was overwhelming. I said to to no one but with Billie listening I would like to be burried there. I later related that feeling and conversation to my hubby. He perked up and said he would look into it. I think he went to look for himself and felt the same way. Years later he tried to make reservations but they never admitted he had. Hubby was always so proud of the fact that he had served and spent 8 years of his life in the military. He would have been a career man but he felt God had other plans for him. He felt at one time it was in the ministry. But his ministry was with little ones, every time we met a former student of his they were always glad to see him. He made a big impression on everyone he taught, how much and what they learned we will never know but they did remember him. God used him to teach they little ones for 27 years. His ministry in a church was brief and short lived, his Alheimers took over and kept him from fulfilling that part of his life.
Hubby was so proud of being an old soldier. He worked so hard at the State Defense Force, he spent so many hours and so much effort into an organization that doesn't remember him or else doesn't exist any more.
I feel hubby is finally at peace and feels he is at last in a place where he is remembered that he did serve and with distintion. Santa Fe National Cementary holds many an old and some not so old soldiers. Among them are friends known and unknown, hubby and I went to some services there. Hubby was present at so many services for State Denfense Force friends, maybe they really are all gone. It is a comfort to know that John and Jean are already there waiting for us. Annie's hubby is already there and there is a place for her. How terrific that finally there is no secration and Annie and her hubby are as welcome there as the rest of us. Only in our lifetime has that come to past. I could not have made it through everything in Albuquerque if it wasn't for Annie. Great friends like that are hard to find.
I can't post about P yet the pain is too fresh and hard to bear.
Hubby was so proud of being an old soldier. He worked so hard at the State Defense Force, he spent so many hours and so much effort into an organization that doesn't remember him or else doesn't exist any more.
I feel hubby is finally at peace and feels he is at last in a place where he is remembered that he did serve and with distintion. Santa Fe National Cementary holds many an old and some not so old soldiers. Among them are friends known and unknown, hubby and I went to some services there. Hubby was present at so many services for State Denfense Force friends, maybe they really are all gone. It is a comfort to know that John and Jean are already there waiting for us. Annie's hubby is already there and there is a place for her. How terrific that finally there is no secration and Annie and her hubby are as welcome there as the rest of us. Only in our lifetime has that come to past. I could not have made it through everything in Albuquerque if it wasn't for Annie. Great friends like that are hard to find.
I can't post about P yet the pain is too fresh and hard to bear.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Finally home
We finally arived home on September 10th. What would I do without great friends? I had a great friend drive me home. I was so afraid for Melissa and I to try it on our own. The three of us had a long trip. We didn't get to stop early enough and we were very tried by the time we found a motel to spend the night. We arrived home early on Sunday to a very good looking home. We spent 3 hours taking my friend to Love Field on Monday morning in a heavy rain storm. We then spent the rest of Monday at Baylor with P. P finally got to go home on Saturday. We were over their on Sunday watching the visiting nurse set everything up for P home care. I can't do any thing in getting the stuff ready for the night feeding through her tummy. I am so glad her mother-in-law can do all of that. I spent all day Tuesday and Wednesay with P trying to take care of her but I couldn't do much. Her hubby was out of town so I got to sleep on the sofa to just be with her. She doesn't need anything to eat. I have just been taking care if Michelle.
I am really concerned about the amount of home work they are giving to 2nd graders. It takes my grandaughter from the time she comes home until she goes to bed to get her homework done. She doesn't have anytime to be a kid. She seems to have block against spelling. No matter how much we go over and over her words she can't remember them. She sail through her math and reading. If she can read why can't she spell?
My friend here in Texas was over this morning. I called to tell her I was home and she came over. We spent some time in prayer and just discussing the current problems and my stress level. She is such a dear to be johny on the spot to help me in prayer and encourage me to just keep on keeping on. I tried to get Melissa to fix tea and cookies for us this morning while Elizabeth was here. She had no idea how to fix a tea party for the three of us. Elizabeth thinks I am graceful, I feel like I have gained so much weight that I am a clumsy cow.
I have been teasing Melissa that she is my Paid Ladies Companion. I just haven't fiquered out how to pay her. Unfortunately she has never read a Gothic Novel about the poor paid ladies companion and her mysteries. I'm going to have to find one so she can read it to me. I quess the time she is spending with me can be used in comon cent training and everyday home refinements. I am so afraid that I am wasting Melissa's life in staying with me instead of being in school or working.
Melissa tells me that we never had tea parties when she was little. I quess I was so busy with the Union that I neglected my grandaughter. The next trip to the grocery store we need little cans of bisquits. I've sent Melissa off to the postoffice and grocery store so we can have a tea party for dinner tonight. If P doesn't need me tomorrow we may go to the bookstore.
I am really concerned about the amount of home work they are giving to 2nd graders. It takes my grandaughter from the time she comes home until she goes to bed to get her homework done. She doesn't have anytime to be a kid. She seems to have block against spelling. No matter how much we go over and over her words she can't remember them. She sail through her math and reading. If she can read why can't she spell?
My friend here in Texas was over this morning. I called to tell her I was home and she came over. We spent some time in prayer and just discussing the current problems and my stress level. She is such a dear to be johny on the spot to help me in prayer and encourage me to just keep on keeping on. I tried to get Melissa to fix tea and cookies for us this morning while Elizabeth was here. She had no idea how to fix a tea party for the three of us. Elizabeth thinks I am graceful, I feel like I have gained so much weight that I am a clumsy cow.
I have been teasing Melissa that she is my Paid Ladies Companion. I just haven't fiquered out how to pay her. Unfortunately she has never read a Gothic Novel about the poor paid ladies companion and her mysteries. I'm going to have to find one so she can read it to me. I quess the time she is spending with me can be used in comon cent training and everyday home refinements. I am so afraid that I am wasting Melissa's life in staying with me instead of being in school or working.
Melissa tells me that we never had tea parties when she was little. I quess I was so busy with the Union that I neglected my grandaughter. The next trip to the grocery store we need little cans of bisquits. I've sent Melissa off to the postoffice and grocery store so we can have a tea party for dinner tonight. If P doesn't need me tomorrow we may go to the bookstore.
Friday, August 31, 2007
When it rains it pours
Trip back to Albuquerque was long and hard. Son drove all the way and I slept.
While I was checking into the motel P was being taken out by Paramedics. She was in the hospital for the funeral. What she said to me on the way out was take care of Michelle.
We had the funeral it went well, so many friends came, Bruce did a good job in conducting the service. The reception afterwards was marvelous I got see so many friends and visit with them. Liz at the Union office set up all the reception for me and it went so well. I still need to give her a gift for so much help. Talk about above and beyond the call.
I then spent to day in the hospital with a bowel blockage. Don't ask how that happened.
P flew home to Dallas and was in Baylor she is suppose to be home today. David and Michelle flew home and left me with the car to take home. I finally found a friend to drive home with me but we can't go until the Saturday after labor day. I am going to take Melissa home with me under a long contract of things for her to do.
Annie has been terrific in allowing me to stay so long. I am going to spend a few days next week in Farmington with Billie.
More later about my experience papering Albuquerque with Death Certificates.
While I was checking into the motel P was being taken out by Paramedics. She was in the hospital for the funeral. What she said to me on the way out was take care of Michelle.
We had the funeral it went well, so many friends came, Bruce did a good job in conducting the service. The reception afterwards was marvelous I got see so many friends and visit with them. Liz at the Union office set up all the reception for me and it went so well. I still need to give her a gift for so much help. Talk about above and beyond the call.
I then spent to day in the hospital with a bowel blockage. Don't ask how that happened.
P flew home to Dallas and was in Baylor she is suppose to be home today. David and Michelle flew home and left me with the car to take home. I finally found a friend to drive home with me but we can't go until the Saturday after labor day. I am going to take Melissa home with me under a long contract of things for her to do.
Annie has been terrific in allowing me to stay so long. I am going to spend a few days next week in Farmington with Billie.
More later about my experience papering Albuquerque with Death Certificates.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Monday, August 13, 2007
It's Over
Hubby passed away yesterday morning. here is his obit.
Died August 12 2007 he was born April some 70 years ago. He was U.S. Marine Corp veteran of World War II and the Korean conflict. Graduated with a MFA, he was a retired educator of 27 years. Volunteer of a State Defense Force with the rank of Colonel. He volunteered for the Red Cross and the Children's Hospital. He was also an ordained Baptist minister who was active in several churches. Services will be held in a National Cemetery. Surviors include his wife of 56 years, two sons and wives, a daugther and husband, one sister, 6 grandchildren, one great grand child.
Hard to sum up his life in just one paragraph.
Died August 12 2007 he was born April some 70 years ago. He was U.S. Marine Corp veteran of World War II and the Korean conflict. Graduated with a MFA, he was a retired educator of 27 years. Volunteer of a State Defense Force with the rank of Colonel. He volunteered for the Red Cross and the Children's Hospital. He was also an ordained Baptist minister who was active in several churches. Services will be held in a National Cemetery. Surviors include his wife of 56 years, two sons and wives, a daugther and husband, one sister, 6 grandchildren, one great grand child.
Hard to sum up his life in just one paragraph.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Waiting with Computers
My living room is strange looking, I am sitting with both of my sons. We all three have our laptops and are doing different things. I am blogging, son one is doing research on his Dads family. Son two is reading blogs and I think blogging now.
Hubby has been in a deep sleep all last night, we all were poping up at different times to check on him. Pat and I changed him this morning and gave him more meds. He has been in a deep sleep sence then.
With number one son here it brings back all the trouble with the SBC and why we don't have the support of a local Baptist Church. All the time and effort hubby and I gave and all the rest of the family. Now when we need there help they are no where to be found. I am sure we are not the only one of the many many Baptist that are so denied the support they need.
I have told my kids never to do this again it is too hard. I know it has been the right thing to do for hubby. But just the being closed in the house and waiting for now 6 weeks has been too much. I could not have done it with Pats help, P and B have been here when they could. I have had there support or it would have been impossible. When my Dad died he was in a hospital and he suffered alot. They wouldn't let him have water it was bad for him and the pain was there you could see it in his face and his voice. With hubby here all you have to do is see the pain and you give him his meds and it stops. We have not allowed him to be in pain at all.
Hubby has been in a deep sleep all last night, we all were poping up at different times to check on him. Pat and I changed him this morning and gave him more meds. He has been in a deep sleep sence then.
With number one son here it brings back all the trouble with the SBC and why we don't have the support of a local Baptist Church. All the time and effort hubby and I gave and all the rest of the family. Now when we need there help they are no where to be found. I am sure we are not the only one of the many many Baptist that are so denied the support they need.
I have told my kids never to do this again it is too hard. I know it has been the right thing to do for hubby. But just the being closed in the house and waiting for now 6 weeks has been too much. I could not have done it with Pats help, P and B have been here when they could. I have had there support or it would have been impossible. When my Dad died he was in a hospital and he suffered alot. They wouldn't let him have water it was bad for him and the pain was there you could see it in his face and his voice. With hubby here all you have to do is see the pain and you give him his meds and it stops. We have not allowed him to be in pain at all.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Another Day
P and I were up about 5:00 am with hubby. P had been up about 4:00 am given him meds tried to get him calmed down. She woke me up at 5:00 to help change him and get him up in the bed. He is so heavy that the both of us can't lift him enough to scoot him up in bed. He was so agitated we couldn't get him calmed down. He wanted out of bed, he told me " I know where to go, let me get up." He hadn't said two words yesterday, and he was so clear today. iI had to give him more meds including the cream that is suppose to calm him down. He is sleeping heavily now but is all scruned over in the bed. P has to leave about 11:00. Pat will be here later, I don't know if B is coming or not. I know I can't move him by myself, but I can give him his meds. I had to rub his legs until the meds took effect today to keep him in bed.
I have spent the morning reading blogs just to get out of the situation here. But it is time to face the music again.
I have spent the morning reading blogs just to get out of the situation here. But it is time to face the music again.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Time is Near
Hubby is going down fast it was just Sunday he was playing balloons with Michelle. Monday night we started watching a John Wayne movie at 10:00 pm. He wouldn't let me turn it off to go to bed until it was over at 1:00am. Tuesday he got up and walked into living room to his chair. I couldn't get his morning pills down him or any food. He sat in the chair and slept off and on for a couple of hours. I ask him if he wanted to go to bed and he said yes. I had trouble getting him to stand up. I was holding by both forearms when I finally got him on his feet. He looked at me and said "Do you want to dance?" I had so much trouble getting him to walk into the beddroom. His legs didn't want to hold him up. He has been in bed since that time, but I can't get him to lay down. He is like the jack in the box. You lay him down and in just a few minutes he pops back up. He wants to sit on the side of the bed. This morning he was so close to the edge of the bed we were afraid he was going to fall off. P and I pulled and tried to pick him up. We finally tore the bed up pulling on the sheet to get him back on the bed and up to the head of the bed. The nurse and the aid or both suppose to be here today maybe they can help us get the bed straigthened out.
Hubby is just like he is in a fog. We can't get him to stand up or move when we ask him to he looks at us and recognizes us. His body and his brain are not working together. He doesn't seem to process what we say to him.
Pat is still in Albuquerque, he seems to be getting his leave straigthened out so he can be here for at least the next 10 days or so. P is taking time off work to be here with me Michelle doesn't want to be left out. I'm not so sure it is good for her to be here at this time but she wants to be with mom and grandma.
My shingles started being so painful yesterday and I am having to take more medication. Three a day instead of the two I have been getting away with. I just seem to be in limbo I don't know what to do most of the time. I just do things by rote, make the bed, put dishes in the dishwasher. We finally have hubby in bed and asleep. Maybe I can take a shower.
Hubby is just like he is in a fog. We can't get him to stand up or move when we ask him to he looks at us and recognizes us. His body and his brain are not working together. He doesn't seem to process what we say to him.
Pat is still in Albuquerque, he seems to be getting his leave straigthened out so he can be here for at least the next 10 days or so. P is taking time off work to be here with me Michelle doesn't want to be left out. I'm not so sure it is good for her to be here at this time but she wants to be with mom and grandma.
My shingles started being so painful yesterday and I am having to take more medication. Three a day instead of the two I have been getting away with. I just seem to be in limbo I don't know what to do most of the time. I just do things by rote, make the bed, put dishes in the dishwasher. We finally have hubby in bed and asleep. Maybe I can take a shower.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Hubby of the Night
We never know how Hubby will be in the middle of the night. One night he turned on all the lights in one end of the house at 1:30 AM. He was holding on to the door frame between the his bedroom and the bathroom. He told me he could see from there how to get in the bathroom and the bedroom. He was so lost, we couldn't get him to lay down in bed. He just wanted to sit on the side of the bed.
Another night he was awake about 1:30 AM and all he wanted to do was give me a hug and tell me how much he loved me. He was so clear it was a shame to try and get him to go back to bed.
I seem to be the only one that can get him to bed, I just give him a hug and kiss on the cheek or forehead and tell him good night.
I then lay awake and listen to the clock chime. The clock is a mantle windup clock with Westminister chimes on the quarter hour and the hour it gongs once for every hour. Hubby and I found the clock in a antique shop 10 or 15 years ago. Hubby bought it for me for Valentine's Day. The clock stopped working about 8 years ago, it cost me as much as the clock cost to have it fixed.
P wanted the clock and I gave it to her but her husband couldn't get use to it chiming at night. I ask for it as long as we are in East Texas. It's a very comforting sound to hear it chime at night while I am trying to get hubby to sleep. Hubby seems to have his days and nights mixed up or else he just have to stay awake after he has been asleep so long.
They are trying to make P go back to Alb. to school next week, we are going to try the Union tomorrow. As much work for the Union and APS as I did they have to give him some kind of leave when we need it.
Another night he was awake about 1:30 AM and all he wanted to do was give me a hug and tell me how much he loved me. He was so clear it was a shame to try and get him to go back to bed.
I seem to be the only one that can get him to bed, I just give him a hug and kiss on the cheek or forehead and tell him good night.
I then lay awake and listen to the clock chime. The clock is a mantle windup clock with Westminister chimes on the quarter hour and the hour it gongs once for every hour. Hubby and I found the clock in a antique shop 10 or 15 years ago. Hubby bought it for me for Valentine's Day. The clock stopped working about 8 years ago, it cost me as much as the clock cost to have it fixed.
P wanted the clock and I gave it to her but her husband couldn't get use to it chiming at night. I ask for it as long as we are in East Texas. It's a very comforting sound to hear it chime at night while I am trying to get hubby to sleep. Hubby seems to have his days and nights mixed up or else he just have to stay awake after he has been asleep so long.
They are trying to make P go back to Alb. to school next week, we are going to try the Union tomorrow. As much work for the Union and APS as I did they have to give him some kind of leave when we need it.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
As Time Goes By
The song title is "AS TIME GOES By". You can see posting at 11:00 is not a goo idea either.
Time Goes By
Pat and I are sitting here waiting as "Times Goes By". TV is impossible Pat had me expand the chanels on Dish so we can get all of them. It does give us a lot more to choose from. It's too hot to do anything outside the humidity is horrible. We are eating non stop and watching tv and dvd's. I feel like time and the world is passing us by. I have been spending some time on the phone with friends.
We are having a bad time managing the pain hubby is having. He is always rubbing his tummy saying that it hurts. His tummy is expanding rapidly, we are down to pj bottoms for trousers during the day. He says the pain meds are taking care of the pain at the top of his tummy but not the bottom. His tummy is so large I am really afraid of it popping. Pat thinks the mass is pressing on the scars from previous surgery. We are also afraid it is pressing on the bladder. Visiting nurse says she will keep us supplied with what ever pain meds we need to keep him comfortable. I hate to see him in pain until we can get the meds down him.
Pat and hubby are asleep. I have slept most of day so I am wide awake, I need to try to go to sleep.
Sorry about the last post, it goes to prove that posts at 3:00 AM are not the best. The year was 1953 when Pat was born not 1963.
About Pat I couldn't have done this without him. He has been here day in and day out, leaving his home, family and life behind to be here. He has gone home twice for book signings and to get text books for this coming year. He is going to send lesson plans for the first couple of weeks just in case I need him that long.
We have tried to get a time line and no one is able to give us one. Hubby is one tough marine and is holding on by everything in him. Everyone is amazing at how long it is taking. He is suppose to be sleeping more and more. Only he is awake more and more. It tears me up to see him in so much pain. Oh well I need to try and go to sleep.
We are having a bad time managing the pain hubby is having. He is always rubbing his tummy saying that it hurts. His tummy is expanding rapidly, we are down to pj bottoms for trousers during the day. He says the pain meds are taking care of the pain at the top of his tummy but not the bottom. His tummy is so large I am really afraid of it popping. Pat thinks the mass is pressing on the scars from previous surgery. We are also afraid it is pressing on the bladder. Visiting nurse says she will keep us supplied with what ever pain meds we need to keep him comfortable. I hate to see him in pain until we can get the meds down him.
Pat and hubby are asleep. I have slept most of day so I am wide awake, I need to try to go to sleep.
Sorry about the last post, it goes to prove that posts at 3:00 AM are not the best. The year was 1953 when Pat was born not 1963.
About Pat I couldn't have done this without him. He has been here day in and day out, leaving his home, family and life behind to be here. He has gone home twice for book signings and to get text books for this coming year. He is going to send lesson plans for the first couple of weeks just in case I need him that long.
We have tried to get a time line and no one is able to give us one. Hubby is one tough marine and is holding on by everything in him. Everyone is amazing at how long it is taking. He is suppose to be sleeping more and more. Only he is awake more and more. It tears me up to see him in so much pain. Oh well I need to try and go to sleep.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
A Humid 54 years ago
Yes, it was a very humid July in North Carolina of 1963. The Marine Corp as usual had left one of it female dependant in a pickle. I was that dependant a very pregnant wife with a 18 month old very active son.
Air conditioning was some thing you read about in the paper. TV was just making its way down the East Coast. I remember watching some black and white snow that had some moving figures in the back ground. That was TV and I was unimpressed.
We had purchased a green hassock fan, my feet stayed propped up on it day and night for a little relief.
I awoke in the middle of the night in pain, my very large tummy had shifted from protruding out in the middle to the side. I felt very, very alone even thro I had a toddler in the house. My husband had been send TDY to Washington DC area.
I waited until the men had had to report to work, I called my husbands office. Bob one of the men that worked for him and his wife Betty had been to our house many times playing Yatze. Betty was expecting also but not until after Thanksgiving. Bob came after my toddler, took him to Betty to be taken care of and took me to the base hospital. I had spent too much time on my feet and pulled a muscle allowing my whole stomach to shift to the side. The hospital put me to bed for bed rest. The reason why I was on my feet so much, I had volunteered to help with Vacation Bible School. Not for the love of Bible School but simply because it gave me a two to three hours with my toddler in someone elses care and me with a joyous time with adults. When you are at home alone with a toddler for weeks at a time you jump at the chance to do anything for relief. The Doctor that treated me recognized me from Vacation Bible School Commencement. This Doctor treated me like the best Christian he had ever know because I had done such a foolish thing. I stopped and looked at my reasons for being on my feet and why he thought I had done such a stupid thing. I very selfishly didn't tell him the real reasons.
Fifty four years later a very humid July in East Texas. I find myself very much alone in the middle of a night. This time I have a husband in another bedroom dying of a very large tumor. This tumor is growing day and night the only thing we can do for him is give him pain medication. This time I am really not alone the son I had put in jeopardy 54 years ago by standing on my feet. He is trying to sleep in another bedroom, he finds it hard to sleep at night and is watching TV. This son has left his family and spending time with me and his father while we are waiting on the dying process. Hubby is becoming more confused by the day. I am not sure he is aware of what is happening or why number two son is still here. People are telling us how much together we have every thing and we are so strong to be able to do this. What choice do we have but to do this, we try to think of every thing that has to be done and just do one day at a time. No we are not moaning an crying, I do have my moments of tearing up but we are trusting the Lord to take care of every thing day by day. No we are not waiting for the Lord to make the arrangements we are making them. The Lord just has to be able to get us through each day that comes and trust he know when hubby has had enough and can't take any more. All the grandkids but Steven have been here to say goodbye, we can't find Steven but just hope he sufaces in time. It was good to have all the kid, grandkids and great grands here. Tiring for hubby and me but they all have said goodbye. P and family should have returned late yesterday I am so glad they got to take this vacation as planned. They will be a big help now in sitting with hubby when we need to go out.
Thank heavens for air conditioning the humid is terrible, I am running the air conditioning night and day so I may owe my soul to light company.
Air conditioning was some thing you read about in the paper. TV was just making its way down the East Coast. I remember watching some black and white snow that had some moving figures in the back ground. That was TV and I was unimpressed.
We had purchased a green hassock fan, my feet stayed propped up on it day and night for a little relief.
I awoke in the middle of the night in pain, my very large tummy had shifted from protruding out in the middle to the side. I felt very, very alone even thro I had a toddler in the house. My husband had been send TDY to Washington DC area.
I waited until the men had had to report to work, I called my husbands office. Bob one of the men that worked for him and his wife Betty had been to our house many times playing Yatze. Betty was expecting also but not until after Thanksgiving. Bob came after my toddler, took him to Betty to be taken care of and took me to the base hospital. I had spent too much time on my feet and pulled a muscle allowing my whole stomach to shift to the side. The hospital put me to bed for bed rest. The reason why I was on my feet so much, I had volunteered to help with Vacation Bible School. Not for the love of Bible School but simply because it gave me a two to three hours with my toddler in someone elses care and me with a joyous time with adults. When you are at home alone with a toddler for weeks at a time you jump at the chance to do anything for relief. The Doctor that treated me recognized me from Vacation Bible School Commencement. This Doctor treated me like the best Christian he had ever know because I had done such a foolish thing. I stopped and looked at my reasons for being on my feet and why he thought I had done such a stupid thing. I very selfishly didn't tell him the real reasons.
Fifty four years later a very humid July in East Texas. I find myself very much alone in the middle of a night. This time I have a husband in another bedroom dying of a very large tumor. This tumor is growing day and night the only thing we can do for him is give him pain medication. This time I am really not alone the son I had put in jeopardy 54 years ago by standing on my feet. He is trying to sleep in another bedroom, he finds it hard to sleep at night and is watching TV. This son has left his family and spending time with me and his father while we are waiting on the dying process. Hubby is becoming more confused by the day. I am not sure he is aware of what is happening or why number two son is still here. People are telling us how much together we have every thing and we are so strong to be able to do this. What choice do we have but to do this, we try to think of every thing that has to be done and just do one day at a time. No we are not moaning an crying, I do have my moments of tearing up but we are trusting the Lord to take care of every thing day by day. No we are not waiting for the Lord to make the arrangements we are making them. The Lord just has to be able to get us through each day that comes and trust he know when hubby has had enough and can't take any more. All the grandkids but Steven have been here to say goodbye, we can't find Steven but just hope he sufaces in time. It was good to have all the kid, grandkids and great grands here. Tiring for hubby and me but they all have said goodbye. P and family should have returned late yesterday I am so glad they got to take this vacation as planned. They will be a big help now in sitting with hubby when we need to go out.
Thank heavens for air conditioning the humid is terrible, I am running the air conditioning night and day so I may owe my soul to light company.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Being Baby Sat
I know being a caregiver is like being a babysitter, but having someone with me is like bein baby sat too. Don't get me wrong I appreciate someone else bein in the house with me while hubby is so sick.
Yesterday I did a dumb trick, I had a litttle grease in a little frying pan. I put it on the stove to turn back to liqud. Hubby needed something so I took care of him and by that time the frying pan was smoking. Number one son saw the smoke and picked up the pan just as it broke into flame. It took me a few minutes to remember and find the flour to put it out. We both knew not to put water on the flames. Now number one son thinks its not safe to leave me alone. Number two will be here this afternoon he has moved his flight up a day.
Hubby is taking more and more pain medication. I had to put three patches on him today. The patches are only 25 mg so they aren't very strong. I have to keep giving him pain pills off and on all day.
We took hubby out to lunch yesterday. We took him to Dairy Palace to get his favorite Taco Salad. He ate the meat and cheese off the top and very little lettuce. We made another stop to check on my cell phone as usual no information available from them. Number one son is putting me on his friends and family plan that will save me about $50.00 a month. That will help when every thing shakes out. We also picked up the mail all this is a pouring down rain. We got home being very wet but it all worked out.
Yesterday I did a dumb trick, I had a litttle grease in a little frying pan. I put it on the stove to turn back to liqud. Hubby needed something so I took care of him and by that time the frying pan was smoking. Number one son saw the smoke and picked up the pan just as it broke into flame. It took me a few minutes to remember and find the flour to put it out. We both knew not to put water on the flames. Now number one son thinks its not safe to leave me alone. Number two will be here this afternoon he has moved his flight up a day.
Hubby is taking more and more pain medication. I had to put three patches on him today. The patches are only 25 mg so they aren't very strong. I have to keep giving him pain pills off and on all day.
We took hubby out to lunch yesterday. We took him to Dairy Palace to get his favorite Taco Salad. He ate the meat and cheese off the top and very little lettuce. We made another stop to check on my cell phone as usual no information available from them. Number one son is putting me on his friends and family plan that will save me about $50.00 a month. That will help when every thing shakes out. We also picked up the mail all this is a pouring down rain. We got home being very wet but it all worked out.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Funeral Arrangments in Advance
We are going today to the funeral home to get some questions answered. It seems really strange to be going to the funeral home in advance. It seems to be the only place I can get my questions answered.
I can't find any way of contacting the National Cemetery. I have been told that it is the responsibility of the funeral home to contact them.
P is going with me. I am really glad I am not going to be alone.
I can't find any way of contacting the National Cemetery. I have been told that it is the responsibility of the funeral home to contact them.
P is going with me. I am really glad I am not going to be alone.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Changes becareful of changes they will change the rest of your life.
The lyrics to this old song keep going through my head.
Friday night after a trip to the er and a cat scan. We discovered that hubby has a pancreatic tumor. The tumor is as big as a watermelon. It has effected his liver and his lung. It is too big for an operation and chemo will just make him sick. The result regardless is terminal.
We brought hubby home yesterday and hospice came to enroll us today. Albuquerque son arrived today to stay and help me.
The old Roger Witaker son Changes keeps going through and through my head.
Friday night after a trip to the er and a cat scan. We discovered that hubby has a pancreatic tumor. The tumor is as big as a watermelon. It has effected his liver and his lung. It is too big for an operation and chemo will just make him sick. The result regardless is terminal.
We brought hubby home yesterday and hospice came to enroll us today. Albuquerque son arrived today to stay and help me.
The old Roger Witaker son Changes keeps going through and through my head.
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