Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Summer 2011

I have prayed and thought long and hard about how to finish blogging about my summer with Sweet pea.

She felt like her Father was punishing her making her to stay away from her friends for the summer.I aloud ed her my cell phone so she was in constant, I mean every moment in touch with them.  To the extent that some of her friends parents complained about the constant, calling or texting.

Melissa was so exited about her coming she was sure they would be best friends while she was here.
Sweetpea immediately pushed her away and was rude and hurtful to her.

She didn't want me to say any thing, like do you remember living in the apartments here and going swimming.  I tried very hard not to mention things then that would remind her of her Mother.
But I guess I was the biggest reminder of all.  She tried to put someone between the two of us all the time.  Unfortunately I had a friend who was mooching off of me, because she had lost her job.  This friend was only to glad to be around all the time and do this so she could get most of her meals and any fun things I had planned for Sweetpea with her included.

Things at my son's house were escalating to the boiling point and unfortunately I got in the middle of them. ( I am too protective of my grandson that I have been so close to).  Sweetpea was a spectator at the melt down and took the side of what she preseved as the underdog.

Sweetpea wanted to separate herself from everything in her past that was hurtful to the inclusive of wanting to change her name.  She thought this would make all the hurtful past go away. 

Unfortunately I got my feelings hurt because I was expecting the sweet little girl.  I helped raise for most of her life.  Just my presence reminded her of her Mother and the past.  She responded by shutting me out and we were at a stand still. Every time I would get close to her she would run to either my supposedly friend or the underdog at my son's house.

My supposedly friend was only to willing to stand between us. 

Monday, November 07, 2011

July 17 to finish Sweetpea's Visit

July 17 was my turn to furnish snacks at Church Sweetpea and I arrived early and carried many bundles into the fellowship hall.  I put coffee on while Sweetpea went to Church.  This is a big job and really too much for one person to do.  I decided I wouldn't volunteer again until they did something about the way we have to prepare and serve coffee and hot water.

My friend Harvey helped me empty the big pots I can't handle them by myself.  We went to brunch with him.  His X-wife has taken his car away from him.  He has some dementia problems. He lives on my way to Church and is in my SS class, so I volunteer to pick him up and take him home.  If I take him home after SS that is 10:30 and he has the rest of the day by himself.  He likes to go to Brunch and I don't mind going.  I spend the rest of the day by myself also.  This man is no dummy he use to be a personnel recruiter for Sandia Labs, but he is older and lives alone.  He forget to change his clothes as often as he should.  I believe this is the lest of his problems.

Sweetpea was very rude to him during brunch.  So he could have smelt better but that was no reason to be rude.  Our relationship has been very strained during this visit.  I finally realize that every time I pinned her down to get her to talk to me she ran to my friend..  The interference that friend caused was beining to bubble over.  She tried to get her to not help with VBS.  She didn't like her going to Church with me.

Sweetpea helped with crafts at VBS all week.  I had very good reports about  her actions during the week.  She was still not talking to me.  Every time I would break though and she was getting close,   my friend would interfere.  Friday was the breaking point.  I picked her up from VBS and she had a sack full of things they had made.  I ask about them and got no response.  I ask if she would like to go for Pizza as we needed to go shopping.  She answered that she was tired and wanted to go home.  I took her home and went to the store for a few things we had to have.  When I returned my friend was their again expecting me to feed her along with Sweetpea. 

Sweetpea would talk to her and not me.  I ask my friend to leave and she was  arguing that she was needed.  Sweetpea wanted to leave with her and I told her if she left with my friend she could not come back.  Of course my friend didn't want her so she contacted Dad to get her home of course  that was what Sweetpea wanted.

This  was unfortunatly a very harsh statement but I was very hurt this point and was lashing back in a very hurtful way.