Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Life is moving fast

I have been seeing a counselor I am hoping it will keep me from having anymore meltdowns. I am hoping that will satisfy my primarly care doc. I don't want to take any anti-depression pills.

A for sale sprouted up a few doors from Shari. It turned out to be the same floor plan as hers but it has been rented for the last 5 years and needs some TLC. I am trying to get some idea if I can qualify to buy it. I may not have enough money to buy it and fix it up too. I thought I had a VA loan coming but I found out that I don't. If hubby had died of a disability I could have the loan but because he didn't the paper for the VA loan is worthless.

You spend almost 57 years thinking of both of us as one individual and it is hard to seperate yourself after hubby leaves.

I have these grand plans of how I could buy the house and finish my 3 months on this lease and have the house fixed up while I am waiting out my lease. I would like to move into a freshly fixed up house so that I don't have to do anything. Shari has been throwing cold water on all my plans saying that it should be a fixer upper and that I should wait to do the repairs until after I move in. Otherwise the buyers would want more money for the house after it was fixed up. I now am having second thoughts about buying it. I don't want them tearing up the tiles in the bathroom, and painting after I move in. No, the more I think about it the more I don't want to live in the house while it is being repaired. Oh well it was a good idea anyway.

Yesterday was my Birthday and I had tummy problems all the night before so my lunch out and dinner out was very unsatifactory. Penni and Michelle called and sang Happy Birthday to me I am so anxious to see them next week. We are planning a outing to Santa Fe and Glorieta. Pat and family took me to dinner. Melissa and I had lunch and shopped a little I bought a dress but I think I will take it back. Bruce called while we were looking at the house and of course he doesn't want me to buy anything for 4 years as the housing market will be going down that long. I may not be alive in 4 years.

Well like I say life is moving on and am I moving with it or standing still?

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