Caregiver?

I became a caregiver with a doctors diagnose for my hubby. When he was diagnosed with Alzhemhiers. I spent 6 years as his caregiver and added my daughter and grandaughter with the cancer diagnose 3 1/2 years ago. As fast as I became a caregiver my duties were over first hubby died and then my heath hit rock bottom. First came shingles the biggest warning sign that could have hit me. Next the vertebras in my back began to crumble. Since Thanksgiving three of my vertebras have crumbled and I have had to have surgery. I can no longer take care of someone else and most of the time I can't take care of myself



My oldest son told me that caregivers only last 18months before their health begins to fail. I guess I outlasted that by a few years. The decisons that my health has forced on me have been so painful that I have been trying to avoid them. My oldest son has been forceing them.

I can no longer stay in Texas, I have become a liabilty to my daughter rather than a help. It has been a very unsetting to me to be a liability rather than the caregiver. I am going back to Albuquerque the end of April when my lease is up. I now have the big big task of clearing out my house and moving.

I have spent the last 10 days of getting rid of paper, paper and more paper. I am going to try and sell everything I can so that I don't have to move so much. I have friends trying to find me a place to live in Alb. It will make things so much more settleing to have a place to movein in Alb.

I need a new name for my blog as I can't be a caregiver anymore.

4 visits to hospitals

Starting with last Thanksgiving, all the month of December I was in either Kaufman Pres hospital , Baylor hospital or Baylor Rehab. I had back surgery December 13th kphoplasty for vertebral compression fractures. The first fracture was up high where my bra strap goes across.
Second vertbra was low in my back. Second surgery was January 28. Third vertbra was low on my back about the same place as the second one. I was in pain with the third vertbra a very long time. We couldn't get the third surgery scheduled soon enough. Third surgery was February 14.

I spent another weekend in hospital in Tyler while they checked out my heart and lungs. Heart docs want me not to drink too much as I am water logged. No salt at all. The minute you go into the hospital or parimeds they plugg you into a IV. Three times Baylor has done x-rays, ekg's, lots of blood work and P tests. Never once have I been told to stop drinking water and they have hooked me up to IV's the whole time, it makes sence to restrick salt.

B was down from Okla for the first surgery, but I have had to arrange for rides to and from Dallas. P and David were with me for the second surgery, they were also with me for the weekend Tyler hosptal stay. P from Albuquerque flew into for the couple of days after surgery. P flew back to Albuquerque this morning. I am going to have to beg another ride to Dallas for my next check with back suregon.

My Sunday School class and the mission circles at church has been so terribly teriffic. It takes about 6 hours to drive to Dallas see doctors and drive home. You need to understand this is more than a 15 minute drive across town and an hour in a doctors office. This is a full day committment to take me to the doctor in Dallas.

My primary care doctor has given me some new medicine it is call Foreteo. I give myself a shot in the tummy every night at 10:00. Literature with this new med says " after you have had the first vertebra compression fracture you are 5 times as likely to have a second one, after you have had the second one you are as 12 times as likely to have a third." They didn't go on from there I am afraid to ask about the 4th or 5th. B ask if they could just fill them all up they have to be fractured to fil them up but medicare only lets them do 3 at one time. So far my MRI's only show the one at the time.

20 degrees below 0

45 years ago Colorado was in the deep freeze. It was 20 degrees below 0 and my water had just broke. It was about 10:00 at night, the boys were in bed ready for school the next day. My next door neighbor was alerted to get the boys off the school the next day. Hubby was at a young chamber of commerce meeting. This was a long long time before the days of cell phones. I called around trying to find out where the meeting was held. By the time I found out it where it was they were long time gone. Hubby finally came home and we started to the hospital on the icy and snowy streets of Pueblo, Colorado.

My labor wasn't very long and we had a beautiful little girl. She was a very very little girl 5 pounds and 5 ounces. They made me stay in the hospital almost a week. She lost weight and they were trying to get her to gain more weight before she went home. Once I got her at home and off the supplement bottle they had her on she gained weight and just did great.

I've missed seeing her today she had chemo and I had an appointment with the rehab people. I took her gifts over and left them, I also baked one of the applesauce cakes for her. I know she can't eat much of the cake but maybe a taste of it will help.

Pain

Pain is taking up most of my time. I am going from one pain pill to another. I have tried to up my pain pills but that just puts me to sleep. I can live on just the one pain pill but I can't seem to do much else. I am having trouble getting rides to Dallas for my appointments. They did a
M RI on Friday. I had a very delightful day. One of my Sunday School mates drove my car to Dallas. We stopped at Hobby Lobby on the way back and had lunch at Salt Grass. Hobby Lobby doesn't have anymore embroidery kits. I am reduced to stamping my own. I did do a set of pilllow cases in cats. I quess I will give them to Michelle or Melissa they both like cats. The other stamp pictures are of hummingbirds and morning glories.

I have to go back to the Doctor on Wednesday if Steven can't take me I will have to try they Sunday School class again.

Tuesday is P birthday she has chemo on that day. I have several gifts for her I'm going to give them to her on Monday instead. They are gone to South Texas for the weekend. I am hoping it hasn't been too much for her.

I am going to tackle Melissa's room Monday she has left so many clothes. It is going to cost me a fortune to mail it all to her.

Happy New Year 2008

Home At Last

I came home yesterday, and all of my kids called to see if I was alright. I'm getting around the house but slow. I started this yesterday and my computer crashed. I spent the day yesterday waiting for my help here in the village to be available. Gloria finally called about Michelle's birthday party. I bought Michelle a Bible book at First Monday sometime ago. I hid it in my closet and I found it for her. I'm sorry I didn't have more for her.

Penni is looking very tired, she wants so much to have this party for Michelle. None of the little girls from school showed up. The same thing happened last summer at the unbirthday party. Michelle's brownies showed up last summer and she had a great party. Her cousins being here has made this birthday a good one in spite of Mommie being sick and grandma hopping around.

I got a e-mail from a long ago friend. I have often wondered what happened to her. When they moved to Texas our lives took different paths and we lost track of each other. I understand we are both widows now. Maybe we can catch up on our lives>

I am still having trouble making the term widow apply to me. I am still having lots of pain in just moving in the morning. I have taken lots of pain meds and I will try to get dressed. My village help is tied up this morning, if they don't materize this afternoon I am going shopping by myself.

Busy Week

What a busy week. I have found a way to keep the power cord to my computer plugged in. Bruce went home Sunday and I found someone to wheel me through the tunnel on Tuesday. I got to spend an hour with Penni. Penni went home yesterday.

I had water therapy 4 days this last week. The pool will be shut down for repair the next two weeks so that is the last pool therapy for me. The pool was great.

I am sore but I am able to move around alot more. One of the pt therapist says she can move my pelivis and tailbone to relieve the nerve pain. I hope the doc's give her enough time to try that this coming week.

They are giving me a pass to go to Penni's for Christmas day. I hate that David has to drive me both ways. I need to call P later today to see if she has that worked out.

I'm going to read some blogs to find out what is going on.

Rehab

Monday they have a very agressive schedule for me in rehab today I hope I can do all of it. One of the doc's this morning said I would do good in water therpay I hope they schedule m.e for that.

My computer has not been working Bruce thought my battery was shot. I am getting a low message now. The cord for power isn't working unless I hold it. More later

Over

Surgery fiished, the surgery wasn't bad but due to a shortage of beds. I stayed in the recovery room until I could come back to rehab today. They closed down the recovery I was in about 11:00 pm last night. The warehoused us about 6 of us in a

larger recovery in another hospital.



Strange feeling to just be warehoused without a nurse assigned or even a call button to call someone. After a lot of yelling and screaming on my part. I got some attention. They were all too glad to put me to sleep to shut me up. I can't believe they would treat people that way.



I am back in rehab I'm not too sure how this will work. I am still sore and hurt flat of my back above my tailbone and my tailbone. Is this some other problem or just sore from all of the exercise over last weekend.

Surgery

Liz (from the surgerons office) came in a few minutes ago and said surgery is scheduled for tomorrow. This surgery is suppose to be a miracle. They will put a balloon in the verabay blow it up, they will deflate and fill the same space with cement. This is suppose to take care of my pain. I will still have the nerve damage to the left leg. I hope they will re admit me to take care of the nerve damage so I can move my left leg. I also need to be able to climb the stairs to the deck, so I can get in to the house.

Bruce is down from OK. He will be staying at my house and driving back and forth. P is back in the hospital. She has a bowl impaction and an infection again. I have tried to call her but her hospital phone isn't working. A early surgery is better than waiting all day to have one. They still haven't transfered me from re-hab to the hospital.

Will post more after surgery.

Catch up

I will try to fill in the rest of this story. I am now in re-hab at Baylor. I have a fractered veribray. No spelling book so my spelling is terrible. The brake is up under my bra line but my pain is in my tail bone. They have put me in a brace I have to wear when I am up. They have been giving me 3 hours of therapy a day. It is getting very painful.

We talk to the doc tomorrow about surgery.

More, More Pain

Thusday I managed to get a few things for Christmas at Walmart while I was waiting for a perscription to be filled.

I was very ill Thursday night and in a lot of pain. Friday morning when D called I couldn't get out of bed. It took me 20 minuets to get to the front door to let him in. D called an ambulance and shipped me off to the hospital in Kaufman. D stayed with me all day in the ER and unil than put me into a room. B came down and both D and B stayed with me along with Dr. Zaleta to see what to do next. We deceided on a tranfer to Baylor and me doc than in Kaufman.

Sunday was just a down day nothing much going on.

Monday we started in with tests and ended with a MRI

More More Pain

Thursday I had progressively trouble getting around with the walker. I managed to get some things for Christmas bought at Walmart while I was waiting for a drug perscription.



I hurt all Thusday night in bed and Friday morning I couldn't move. D called me and I told him I couldn't get out of bed. It took me 20 minutes to get to the front door to let D in. D calle ambulance and shipped me off to the hospital in Kaufman. D stayed with me all day in the ER

More Pain

Monday November 26 I had a x ray of my hips and a test for blood clots. They couldn't find anything at Kaufman and sent me to se RA doc.

I managed to keep my dental appointment on Tuesday.

Wednesday I had one of the stangest doc appointments with the RA Doc. It was very late in the day and every one was rushing arounding trying to get out of the office. The doc blew in for about two minutes and took one look at me and said saic nerve and left. I had this troop of people rushing around and giving me 6 or 8 shots in my back. I kept asking what they were putting in the only answer I could get was something like a pain killer you have had the dentist. By then I hurt so bad I quess I just let them do anything if it would stop the pain. They then used a 10 units on my back. While using 10 units they puts strips on my arch of my foot and my heel. This had needles in it that hurt like hell. I think they were measuring my nerve reaction> They were going to sent that off to be read<> I was rushed out of there with an appointment for some kind of a spinal cord test with dye on December 10th in Tyler.

I managed to drive home for Tyler after dark.

Pain

It has been less than a month since I have blogged and so much has happened. My whole world has changed. With M and Melissa's help I cooked Thanksgiving Dinner. I got through Thanks giving holding on to everything. Counter tops stoves any thing upright. B came down and I had all the kids together. We had a picture taken you can see it on Pat's site. I kept looking for hubby. We all missed him saying Grace. But his son did a great job.

Melissa when home and the house was very empt for Sadie and I.

Pain

It hasn't been month since my last post and the my whole world has changed. I got through Thanksgiving with M and Melissa helping me cook. I hung on to every counter top and stove to stay upright. They let P come home for Thanksgiving. B came down and it was good to have all the kids together. I kept looking for hubby he wasn't there to say grace, his son did great as well.

Melissa went home and the house seems very empty.

Pizza

Melissa doesn't like to hear my stories, so I quess I will just have to post them here.

When Hubby came home from overseas, the boys were about 2 and 4. Hubby was stationed at El Torro in California. We lived in town Santa Ana for awhile and then moved into base housing. Old barracks type of apartments three or four apartments downstairs and the same up stairs. We lived in the middle with aparments on both sides of us. They gave us a three bedroom apartment the boys had one room and we had another and the third was used as a storeage room. This was the last stop for us in the military.

We very seldom went out at night we couldn't afford a babysitter and most of the time one was never available. But, we did go out one night with several other couples to Irving California. We had red wine and pizza. I had never had pizza before and had never heard of it. We had a great time. Little old Pueblo Colorado hadn't heard of pizza. Hubby didn't come back from Japan talking about pizza. I'm sure some interprizing guy brought the idea from back east some where. Just a small little pizza joint serving wine or beer with pizza. About 10 miles from a very large Marine Airbase.

Well that's my stupid little story for tonight.

Pain

My walking at First Monday has really done me in. I at first thought that I could walk out the soreness from my walking, but walking has just made it worse. Saturday I went to workshop for missions at Mineola. I forced myself to walk in a large room several times. When I got home I was in so much pain I couldn't walk. I tried the heat and cold all Saturday night it helped very little. Sunday morning I even tried a epsom salt bath. That is a difficult operation in a bathtub as small as ours. I tried calling my massaage gal but didn't get in touch with her. I tried today my bone crusher, it seems to have helped. I'm still moving slow but in less pain than before. I've been doing two pain pills during the day.

Friends

The last few days my friends have been here from Albuquerque. That really shows you good friends when they come all the way to see me. Thursday we went to I-Hop to meet them for dinner. Friday morning they came for breakfast, it was teriffic. Melissa and I had to make quiche on Thursday night because the bakery didn't make the quiche.

Friday was Melissa Birthday and because she had to spend it with a bunch of old ladies her attitude was lousy. The Girls bought her a smell bear that smelled like lavender. She thanked them but not very well. We all took her out to dinner to celibate. She told me later it was a terrible Birthday. She much prefered last year because she got presents. I offered to buy her what she wanted but she didn't want anything.

Saturday morning we went back to First Monday Melissa now wants to buy everything in sight. I have trouble keeping a handle on the money I took. She is going to have to re imburse me for part of the money that was spent.

The little town of Canton was so logged with cars that we couldn't even go after the mail today.

The afternoon was just down time at home. I have been trying to do laundry and hem up some pants I bought. Melissa has spent most of the afternoon sleeping I have insisted she wake up but she has been watching TV and do nothing. I have been trying to account for the money spent, it has been difficult.

It has become event that Melissa cannot stay with me any longer, it has become impossible to get her to do anything. I can no longer put up with ther attitude.

October 24, 1950

San Bernadino, California 3:00 pm Temperature is a warm 72 degrees the sun is shinning, the sky is a clear blue. A young couple walks out of a church in the warm sunshine to see school getting out across the street. All the young students are glad to be out of school and are runing in every direction. Tena and Bill were just married in the Baptist Church. Not a lot of people were in attendance, just the brides parents and the groom's mother. Tena and Bill would begin there married life in the Mojave desert. There first love nest would be a 18 foot trailer. Tena immediately tried to burn it down by putting a cake in the oven and taking off to the base to pick up Bill a 20 mile round trip. Neighbors in the trailer park jimmed the door open and saved the day by turning off the oven. The cake was a crispy critter. Our biggest wedding gift was old coupe car. This really saved us we were living 10 miles from the base an really needed transportation. The groom had just signed up for additional six years of the Marine Corp.

This was the last half of the 20th century, the beginning of the Korean War. The founding of a dynasty. Four children, 3 living, 6 grandchildren, 1 great grandson. Three sons, first son with a doctorate, second son with a masters, third son died at birth. Only daughter's passion is working with newborns in intensive care. Three granddaughters oldest married, middle is making a career of taking care of grandma, the youngest busy being a second grader. Three grandsons oldest making a name for himself in media and news, middle is trying his luck with Walmart, the youngest is in construction. Great grandson living with his Mom in Arizona we don't see nearly enough of him.

We almost made 57 years and people said it wouldn't last.