June 28, 2005

P had her chemo on Friday she was very tired but seems to have gotten over it fairly well. She went to work on Sunday. She is scheduled again on next Friday for chemo.

The boys and wives arrive on Saturday . B and wife will stay with P. We will pickup P and L and they will stay with us. It will seem strange to only have Michelle of all the grandkids.

I understand E and Steven have been together in Albuquerque. I think that is great I know Steven can help E.

We have been looking for a new place to live in Canton. By accident as usual we found a modual home community built around a lake. They will have one available in August so we just have to give our 30 days notice here and buy the buyout fee to move. I dread moving again but a 3 bedroom 2 bath overlooking the lake is too much to pass up. It doesn't have a dishwasher that will be an adjustment. The more room and view will be well worth it. I just need to locate some help in moving.

I know P wants to sell her house as soon as possible but I hope we aren't both moving at the same time. Michelle is very confused with all the talk of moving and we have to keep telling her about what is happening all the time.

We are having trouble with doctors again I need to get us established with Primary and Arthistis doctors may be in Athens or in Kaufman.

I have been reading lots of blogs and inputting some but it can be very time consuming. I am now reading 3 newspapers , Terrel news very small. Dallas Morning News and Albuquerque Journal on line. It is surpriseing the things in Albuquerque Journal that never make the Dallas paper. Albuquerque keeps me up the the engery bill and you never see it mentioned in Dallas. Our course I still keep up with the politics in Albuquerque, I can't see much in Dallas Politics.
I hope Marty gets in again and Cadigan but Miquel really needs to go. See P you should get in politics and that would be a good place for you. I think B is looking at a local run. I think you both should go for it.

Hubby is doing fine, his blood sugar gets high at times but other than that he seems to be doing OK. We drove a lot on Sunday and he did OK in the car. When we were looking for a place in Canton we just drove down a little farm road it was such a pretty drive but nothing with a for rent sign. When we got back to Canton here is a big permante sign advertising this modual home community. The managers have a poodle that looks so much like mimi in the face he has longer legs and more color but he is as sweet as mimi. We are looking foreward to getting moved and settled th.is place gets worse by the day

June 20, 2005

Well D day has arrived P saw the doctor today. He can now feel the tumor, by looking at cat scan a lymph gland maybe involved. She started chemo again on Friday. They will be giving her Taxol(?) but small dose once a week. It maynot make her as sick as the one did before. But she will loose her hair and have trouble with the feeling in her fingers. I can't get any information on breaking my lease, I seem to be at the mercy of the owners of the complex. The lease says I am responable for 85% of the rent until the lease expires, or until the apartment is rented.

Yesterday was Father's day we had a good day. I had bought hubby a massage mat that he is really enjoying. We went to P for a late lunch, very good P And D had picked some blueberries, boy they were good on some vanilla and strawberry icecream. We came back here and went swimming from 7:30 until 9:00 water was great. The time to go swimming is after dark or just before dark no sunburn and few people in the pool.

You need to check out Rita Rudders website on ovarian cancer. She died of ovarian cancer, it is so scary that it is hard to read it.

D finally straightened out my computer. Iquess the SBC DSL disk put all kinds of crazy things on my computer. I won't be downloading anything else from them, what a mess.

June 16,2005

Another hot day in Texas, yesterday they said stay inside because of the air quality. Today it's the heat 99 degrees? We feel like prisoners in this small apartment. I can at least spend time on the internet, but hubby has sleeping, reading or TV. I can't help searching for ovarian cancer and reading but it scares me to death. Unfortunately P has been doing the same thing and she is scared too. I just don't know how to help her, all I can do is be here. D has gall bladder problems, they should have found it years ago in NM. Surgery will be in the future we just don't know when. Now P thinks she had the cancer years ago in NM. How do you sue a third world medical system, all the good doctors have left that state. I'm torn between moving to get into a bigger place and staying here for the pool. It would be so easy to stay put and not have to move, but can we survive this place. How did Paul ever find the place that he could say he was content with whatever place he was in. Tommow we have Michelle again, she needs to go school because spiderman is going to be there. I'm not sure what we will do all day there its too hot to work in the barn. Maybe we should look at finding a movie, a long time ago we use to spend very hot days at the movies. It may be time to do that again.

June 14, 2005

M really likes the swimming pool. She wants to stay down here all the time so she can swim.
P is trying to wait out the time to find out what is next. I really don't know how to help her or what to say to her.

We had a resident meeting yesterday. I couldn't believe that the things going on in the second phase are at the same location. The first phase is so quiet and non eventful that it doesn't seem the same location.

Family in albuquerque has been so out of touch that I wonder what is going on. It may mean a telephone call.

The weather has been bad in Oklahoma but everyone there seems ok or at least was the last time I talked to B.

Nothing going on here just hot outside so we are in watching TV. We need to go swimming again tonight.

June 10, 2005

Yesterday was a very good birthday hubby was more withit than most days lately. We had a Birthday party for the all June Bi rthdays as the apartment complex, and I was the youngest. We went shopping in Mesquite and believe it or not they don't make telephones with ditigal clocks that you can read at night. We had a conversation the first one in a long time. Hubby is as unhappy with our apartment as I am. We may try to find something to rent in Canton. We won't have the swimming pool and some of the activities but we are doing much of them anyway.

Hubby wanted a new swimming suit and the one he picked out may keep us awake at night. So we went swimming at 9:00pm last night, pool was great but not deep enough to really swim in.
The hot tub was even better, maybe hubby won't be so reluctant from now on.

Need to go grocery shopping mother hubbards cubboard is bare. Shopping is such a drag it takes all day and the lugging out of the store and into the car and into the house gets more tiring every time.

I don't need to continue trying to fit everything in this impossible apartment if we are going to move. That will be a job but maybe I can hire some help.

June 8, 2005

One thing about a 5 hour trip with someone that can't 'hear you and doesn't want the radio on.
Lots of time to think, while you are dodging all the 18 wheelers and the road construction. Why are they repairing and re-doing all the major highways in the country. Duh!!! all these big trucks with 2 trailers are tearing up the highways yes they pay lots of taxes to be able to drive on the highways. But, is it really cost effective to keep having to repair the roadways over and over again yes it does keep the road crew employed. Why aren't we using other means of transporting goods across country. Weren't the railroad suppose to do that we have let all the railroads deteriorate. The railroads use to employ a lot of people too. When I was a kid and all the way through my generation I knew a lot of people that worked on railroads do you know anyone now that does. Yes a friend of mines sisters husband has recently retired from the railroad. How many accidents have been caused by the big rigs, most of us hate to drive on the major highways where we have to fight with them to just drive down the road. The price of gas today can't make them cost effective. This picture seems to make as much sense as watering grass to make it grow and then complaining about having to mow it.

June 6, 2005

Home safe from Oklahoma long trip but what a great trip, exhausting. We may be too old for this whirlwind trip. Including a torrando warning , will I ever get use to them. After the little one we had in Albuquerque many years ago, the destruction was so great.

It was so great to have all of my kids their spouses together. All of the grandkids were their with the exception of Steven. E and Richie also were there, the breakup of his marriage has been too long in developing, but no one can say that E didn't try. Now all that is left is the legal mess and trying to put his life back together after a 5 year detour. Maybe Steven can be a big help to E in getting his self esteem back. Poor Richie is just confused and unsettled of all of the changes.

P it looks like will have to have more chemo this is so distrubing. Just one day at a time we have to pray for the complete remission.

No more travel for a long time the hauling around of the luggage is just too much. Hubby was very content while we were driving. He is just too out of it which he was pretty much the whole trip or he is feeling that bad. Everything even moving seems too much of an effort to him. I quess another round of trips to the doc's are in the future. We need to get that all done before the boys come in July.

May 30,2005

One more trip to Oklahoma going up to Altus to see grandson and family. I can't believe we have a great grandson. I hope he still looks like his father and grandfather. I finally have found out how to take pictures on the digital camera and how to print them out of the camera. I still haven't found out how to e-mail them. If I can just center the picture we will have some good pictures from the trip and wedding. P should get results of her ct scan on Wednesday we really need to know. Both daughter-in-laws with health problems and my youngest too. I'm so afraid that P will need more chemo the last was so hard on her. Michelle gets so upset not knowing what is going on.

Well I tried on the dresses for the wedding I'm going to need a really good bra and they will look alright, but I really need heels. So I bought some I hope I can stand to wear them for 2 days. I don't think I've worn any since P was married, I got rid of all of them when we moved.

My resolve to get the barn cleaned out has been slow. I'm repacked and moved 10 small boxes but there is still so much left.

I may have to give hubby more relaxing meds before we try to drive to Okla. I may have help driving back. I'm anxious for P and family to come for a few days. Three trips to Okla. in 6 weeks is a lot

May 25, 2005

P blood work wasn't good so she has to have more tests on Friday no results until following Wednesday. It is so hard to just sit and wait for things to play out, moving is just been put on hold again. Had a nice chat with Dena last night, she is anxious for us to visit in orgeon. Part of the reservations made in oklahoma still waiting on the rest, at least decisions on who, what, and where have been decided. Weather has finally cooled off a little or else the new thermostate is working. Heaven forbid that I am adjusting to this humidity. New Wal-mart in Forney is great, hey how can I say that about a Wal-mart, but at least I can find what I want. Travel news in Dallas was terrible yesterday . So glad the kids in daycare in Dallas were not hurt any worse it could have been horrible.

May 24, 2005

P had her dr appontment yesterday but they didn't have her blood work so we don't know anything. They are supose to call her today. So much depends onthe results. Need some time lines so I can make reservations and what to do amout moving. Dallas Morning News had a report of a death of a woman who had breast cancer and her husband lost his job and she couldn't get all the chemo she needed. Bruce is right our health system is in the toilet. Too bad they destroyed Hillary because she was woman with brains.

May 20, 2005

P and D just came after Michelle, she is fun but takes a lot out of me. It's so hard to get her to go to bed. We have her again tomorrow but just for the day. The himidity is so bad I have to keep the airconditioner on all the time. We seem to be settling in pretty good but NM looks better every day. It depends on how P is doing with her next dr. appointment. Read an article about Ray at WS Pharmacy in the Alb. Journal. How I miss him, you can't get any information here. Hubby seems to be doing fine, still having trouble getting our medication out of Albuquerque. It seems to be the mail system east of Dallas and NM was suppose to be the land of manyona ? Never had to spell that one before. Our kitty hides every time Michelle is here but I understand the two years old where she was before liked to chase her. We took lots of pictures on the digital in Okla. Now i just need to see if I canget them on the computer to send to everyone. I may be getting too old for all the new technology.

May 16,2005

Good trip to Oklahoma long but good. Stayed at Kathy's unusal house. Nice to slep i n a second story bedroom. trees with leaves outsid the window. I'm afraid the wedding will produce some undesirable complications. Not so sure a motel doesn't sound better all the time. There will be 11 of us to add to B house that is a lot during a wedding. C graduation was great so pleased with her dedication and accomplishments. Concerned about the military life in the future that she is not the lease prepared for. I quess we all have to learn and the younger the better. P and D are going to arkansas before the wedding so I quess we will drive up again by ourselves. We have finally found a way that is a little longer but so much less congestion. Of course the program on dateline last night didn't help any. A lot of the travel is a two way highway but maybe day time and not so many big trucks helps. Bruces blog is going great time if you haven't been on it visit it and way in on the issues.

Dena called while we were gone and I talked to her a long time. She is encouraging us to see Oregon as a possible home. We might check the airfare and see about a trip this summer.

I now have a subscription to the Alb. Journal that is helpful and I can keep up with the Obits.

So anxious to see everyone at the Wedding.

May 11, 2005

Another trip to Oklahoma but I drive both ways this time. I am trusting that the medication Hubby is on will keep him calm in all the traffic. We can't be held captive in Terrell. I saw some small older motor homes on our way through Farmsville on the way home. I am so tempted to try that again. I just haven't got the travel bug out of my system. Hubby keeps asking about that kind of travel he isn't ready to let it go either. I quess this small trip will let me know if it is possible. I have a doctor appoinment they have to give us something else besides Bextra. Most doctors just want you to take Tynole where oh where is Dr. Calson when we need him. Maybe a trip back to NM is in order.

Good trip to OKLAHOMA good to see and talk with other members of the family. It just took us a couple of days to recover. Going back again in two weeks and then again in another two weeks. Lots of road travel for us old folks. Weather has been cool and not to humid. Thinking about returning to NM this summer. I have to see how I adjust to the humiditity.

Another trip to the dentist today we can't seem to get all the dental work done. We are just making the dentist rich. Not bad for someone who was suppose to have dentures at 18. They just keeping working on my own.

Hubby just loses more memory every day, or is the hearing loss. He didn't take part in any thing in Okla. He was just content to be there and be with every one.

P informed me that D's mother was coming back and moving in, in october. She caused so much trouble the last time she was here. Why is P letting here come back. She says it is because K and T won't allow her to live near them. Another reason for going back to NM. If we could just find a place to live in NM similar to this one. I'm not sure they have anything like this.

CAREGIVER2

I AM A RETIRED SCHOOL EMPLOYEE. NOW A FULLTIME CAREGIVER.

MY HUSBAND OF 54 YEARS WAS DIAGNOISED WITH ALZHEIMERS 5 YEARS AGO.
MY DAUGHTER WAS DIAGNOISED WITH OVARIAN CANCER LAST SUMMER. MY DAUGHTER HAS A 5 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER.

WE SOLD OUR RETIREMENT HOME OF 10 YEARS TO MOVE INTO MY DAUGHTERS HOME. FOR SIX MONTHS I CARED FOR MY DAUGHTER DURING CHEMO AND MY GRANDAUGHTER WITH MY HUSBAND.

A FEW MONTHS AGO MY HUSBAND AND I MOVED INTO A SENIOR CITIZENS COMPLEX. I AM STILL CARING FOR MY HUSBAND FULL TIME AND MY GRANDAUGHTER A COUPLE OF DAYS A WEEK.

I AM FEELING COMPLETELY ISOLATED BEING IN A NEW STATE AND CITY WITHOUT A SUPPORT GROUP OF FRIENDS. I AM ATTENDING A ALZHEIMERS SUPPORT GROUP A COUPLE OF TIMES A MONTH, BUT I AM HAVING A HARD TIME FEELING A PART OF THE GROUP MOST OF THEM HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER A LONG TIME.

I REALLY NEED SOME CONVERSATION ABOUT RELIGION, POLICTICS OR JUST HOW YOU ARE COPING WITH CAREGIVING.