Friday, August 31, 2007

When it rains it pours

Trip back to Albuquerque was long and hard. Son drove all the way and I slept.

While I was checking into the motel P was being taken out by Paramedics. She was in the hospital for the funeral. What she said to me on the way out was take care of Michelle.

We had the funeral it went well, so many friends came, Bruce did a good job in conducting the service. The reception afterwards was marvelous I got see so many friends and visit with them. Liz at the Union office set up all the reception for me and it went so well. I still need to give her a gift for so much help. Talk about above and beyond the call.

I then spent to day in the hospital with a bowel blockage. Don't ask how that happened.

P flew home to Dallas and was in Baylor she is suppose to be home today. David and Michelle flew home and left me with the car to take home. I finally found a friend to drive home with me but we can't go until the Saturday after labor day. I am going to take Melissa home with me under a long contract of things for her to do.

Annie has been terrific in allowing me to stay so long. I am going to spend a few days next week in Farmington with Billie.

More later about my experience papering Albuquerque with Death Certificates.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007


The only words I can think of to say to my hubby is
"Good night sweet Prince"

Monday, August 13, 2007

It's Over

Hubby passed away yesterday morning. here is his obit.

Died August 12 2007 he was born April some 70 years ago. He was U.S. Marine Corp veteran of World War II and the Korean conflict. Graduated with a MFA, he was a retired educator of 27 years. Volunteer of a State Defense Force with the rank of Colonel. He volunteered for the Red Cross and the Children's Hospital. He was also an ordained Baptist minister who was active in several churches. Services will be held in a National Cemetery. Surviors include his wife of 56 years, two sons and wives, a daugther and husband, one sister, 6 grandchildren, one great grand child.

Hard to sum up his life in just one paragraph.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Waiting with Computers

My living room is strange looking, I am sitting with both of my sons. We all three have our laptops and are doing different things. I am blogging, son one is doing research on his Dads family. Son two is reading blogs and I think blogging now.

Hubby has been in a deep sleep all last night, we all were poping up at different times to check on him. Pat and I changed him this morning and gave him more meds. He has been in a deep sleep sence then.

With number one son here it brings back all the trouble with the SBC and why we don't have the support of a local Baptist Church. All the time and effort hubby and I gave and all the rest of the family. Now when we need there help they are no where to be found. I am sure we are not the only one of the many many Baptist that are so denied the support they need.

I have told my kids never to do this again it is too hard. I know it has been the right thing to do for hubby. But just the being closed in the house and waiting for now 6 weeks has been too much. I could not have done it with Pats help, P and B have been here when they could. I have had there support or it would have been impossible. When my Dad died he was in a hospital and he suffered alot. They wouldn't let him have water it was bad for him and the pain was there you could see it in his face and his voice. With hubby here all you have to do is see the pain and you give him his meds and it stops. We have not allowed him to be in pain at all.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Another Day

P and I were up about 5:00 am with hubby. P had been up about 4:00 am given him meds tried to get him calmed down. She woke me up at 5:00 to help change him and get him up in the bed. He is so heavy that the both of us can't lift him enough to scoot him up in bed. He was so agitated we couldn't get him calmed down. He wanted out of bed, he told me " I know where to go, let me get up." He hadn't said two words yesterday, and he was so clear today. iI had to give him more meds including the cream that is suppose to calm him down. He is sleeping heavily now but is all scruned over in the bed. P has to leave about 11:00. Pat will be here later, I don't know if B is coming or not. I know I can't move him by myself, but I can give him his meds. I had to rub his legs until the meds took effect today to keep him in bed.

I have spent the morning reading blogs just to get out of the situation here. But it is time to face the music again.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Time is Near

Hubby is going down fast it was just Sunday he was playing balloons with Michelle. Monday night we started watching a John Wayne movie at 10:00 pm. He wouldn't let me turn it off to go to bed until it was over at 1:00am. Tuesday he got up and walked into living room to his chair. I couldn't get his morning pills down him or any food. He sat in the chair and slept off and on for a couple of hours. I ask him if he wanted to go to bed and he said yes. I had trouble getting him to stand up. I was holding by both forearms when I finally got him on his feet. He looked at me and said "Do you want to dance?" I had so much trouble getting him to walk into the beddroom. His legs didn't want to hold him up. He has been in bed since that time, but I can't get him to lay down. He is like the jack in the box. You lay him down and in just a few minutes he pops back up. He wants to sit on the side of the bed. This morning he was so close to the edge of the bed we were afraid he was going to fall off. P and I pulled and tried to pick him up. We finally tore the bed up pulling on the sheet to get him back on the bed and up to the head of the bed. The nurse and the aid or both suppose to be here today maybe they can help us get the bed straigthened out.

Hubby is just like he is in a fog. We can't get him to stand up or move when we ask him to he looks at us and recognizes us. His body and his brain are not working together. He doesn't seem to process what we say to him.

Pat is still in Albuquerque, he seems to be getting his leave straigthened out so he can be here for at least the next 10 days or so. P is taking time off work to be here with me Michelle doesn't want to be left out. I'm not so sure it is good for her to be here at this time but she wants to be with mom and grandma.

My shingles started being so painful yesterday and I am having to take more medication. Three a day instead of the two I have been getting away with. I just seem to be in limbo I don't know what to do most of the time. I just do things by rote, make the bed, put dishes in the dishwasher. We finally have hubby in bed and asleep. Maybe I can take a shower.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Hubby of the Night

We never know how Hubby will be in the middle of the night. One night he turned on all the lights in one end of the house at 1:30 AM. He was holding on to the door frame between the his bedroom and the bathroom. He told me he could see from there how to get in the bathroom and the bedroom. He was so lost, we couldn't get him to lay down in bed. He just wanted to sit on the side of the bed.

Another night he was awake about 1:30 AM and all he wanted to do was give me a hug and tell me how much he loved me. He was so clear it was a shame to try and get him to go back to bed.
I seem to be the only one that can get him to bed, I just give him a hug and kiss on the cheek or forehead and tell him good night.

I then lay awake and listen to the clock chime. The clock is a mantle windup clock with Westminister chimes on the quarter hour and the hour it gongs once for every hour. Hubby and I found the clock in a antique shop 10 or 15 years ago. Hubby bought it for me for Valentine's Day. The clock stopped working about 8 years ago, it cost me as much as the clock cost to have it fixed.

P wanted the clock and I gave it to her but her husband couldn't get use to it chiming at night. I ask for it as long as we are in East Texas. It's a very comforting sound to hear it chime at night while I am trying to get hubby to sleep. Hubby seems to have his days and nights mixed up or else he just have to stay awake after he has been asleep so long.

They are trying to make P go back to Alb. to school next week, we are going to try the Union tomorrow. As much work for the Union and APS as I did they have to give him some kind of leave when we need it.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

As Time Goes By

The song title is "AS TIME GOES By". You can see posting at 11:00 is not a goo idea either.

Time Goes By

Pat and I are sitting here waiting as "Times Goes By". TV is impossible Pat had me expand the chanels on Dish so we can get all of them. It does give us a lot more to choose from. It's too hot to do anything outside the humidity is horrible. We are eating non stop and watching tv and dvd's. I feel like time and the world is passing us by. I have been spending some time on the phone with friends.

We are having a bad time managing the pain hubby is having. He is always rubbing his tummy saying that it hurts. His tummy is expanding rapidly, we are down to pj bottoms for trousers during the day. He says the pain meds are taking care of the pain at the top of his tummy but not the bottom. His tummy is so large I am really afraid of it popping. Pat thinks the mass is pressing on the scars from previous surgery. We are also afraid it is pressing on the bladder. Visiting nurse says she will keep us supplied with what ever pain meds we need to keep him comfortable. I hate to see him in pain until we can get the meds down him.

Pat and hubby are asleep. I have slept most of day so I am wide awake, I need to try to go to sleep.

Sorry about the last post, it goes to prove that posts at 3:00 AM are not the best. The year was 1953 when Pat was born not 1963.

About Pat I couldn't have done this without him. He has been here day in and day out, leaving his home, family and life behind to be here. He has gone home twice for book signings and to get text books for this coming year. He is going to send lesson plans for the first couple of weeks just in case I need him that long.

We have tried to get a time line and no one is able to give us one. Hubby is one tough marine and is holding on by everything in him. Everyone is amazing at how long it is taking. He is suppose to be sleeping more and more. Only he is awake more and more. It tears me up to see him in so much pain. Oh well I need to try and go to sleep.